Intimacy and Self-Loathing
by BlueNorth
Summary: Evelyn lost almost everything thanks to Shiro's performance in the Galra's gladiatorial arena: her life on Earth, her sister, and control over her own body. When she is unexpectedly rescued by the paladins, she discovers she still has quite a bit more to lose.
1. Chapter 1

The cell door screeched open reluctantly. Light shredded the comfortable darkness inside the tiny cell. The purple luminescence threw strange shadows across the sole occupants body.

"Da…?"

The Green paladin stared down at the banged-up form of a tall, dark-haired human woman lying on the floor of the cell. Triggered by Pidge's intrusion, she turned her head toward the door and cracked an eye open to look up at her.

"You're from earth!"

"So are…," the woman gasped for air before finally catching a breath, "…you." She sounded amazed, despite the frailty of her breathing, but she made no move to get up.

"Is there anybody else from Earth held in this prison?"

The woman slowly rolled her head away from Pidge and then rolled back to face her. It was the best she could do at shaking her head _no_.

Pidge's shoulders slumped, and she hung her head in defeat. She sighed before coming back to the present.

"Can you moved or get up?" Another slow head roll.

"Are you injured?" This time the woman hesitated before managing a small nod.

Pidge glanced back over her shoulder at Shiro who was currently checking the last cell on the right wall. Pidge had taken the left side, but every cell in the brig of the Galra ship was empty. Every cell except for this one. Her confusion grew because they all contained signs of recent habitation.

"Hey Shiro? I've got something, err, someone. I'm pretty sure she's form Earth. She's going to need a pod."

Lance had apparently been listening because he was quick to exuberantly chime in.

"You found a girl from Earth? Is she pretty? Why did I not get to come with you guys!?" Just then blasts could be heard over the comms. Pidge cringed.

"Lance! Quit whining and pay attention. You're about to get flanked." Keith growled.

"I'm on it! I'm on it." More explosions came across the comms.

"Are you ever NOT distracted by girls?" Pidge muttered under her breath

"Hey, I heard that!"

"Lance!"

This time it was Shiro who spoke up. By now, he had joined Pidge in the doorway of the lone occupied cell. His eyebrows rose in surprise when he saw the woman. She looked absolutely awful. Pidge used the biometric scanner in her gauntlet to determine the extent of her injuries. Along with deep tissue contusions, it showed several broken metacarpal bones, and a hairline fracture in her right forearm. Most worrying was her punctured lung - a result of a snapped lower rib. Something or someone had put a lot of effort into trying to pulverize this woman.

"We need to get her into a pod in the next…" Pidge glanced at her holo-screen, "half a varga or her lungs will collapse, and she'll suffocate."

They both looked down at her and were shocked to see a small, pained smile grace her face.

"Just… _wheeze_ …leave… _hack_ …me. It's… _hack_ …it's fine."

"Absolutely not. We don't leave anyone behind." Shiro was already kneeling to pick the woman up. He slipped his arms underneath her back and the crook of knees and lifted her up. She gasped and flinched, obviously in a world of pain.

Despite Shiro's best efforts, it was not a smooth ride back to where the green and black lions were waiting. They had chosen to be stealthy instead of blasting every Galra or sentry that they came across. It was coming back to bite them in the ass now. They had to dart into hiding whenever they came across groups larger than four. Pidge's agility wasn't enough to protect everyone at once. Shiro was not the type of man to let her try yet he was basically useless with the girl in his arms. He was forced to put her down every time they had to fight. Her injuries made it extremely dangerous to throw her over his shoulder or put her in a fireman's carry. The ups and downs as well as the time spent fighting had taken a toll on the woman. She was completely nonresponsive now, most likely having passed out from the pain.

Time sped by alarmingly fast on Pidge's gauntlet timer. With only six dobashes remaining, Shiro raced up the ramp to the Black lion's cockpit. He hurriedly placed the woman in the passenger chair that Black had provided. He paused for a moment to check her pulse. It was frantic but her burdened breathes were getting increasingly shallow and infrequent. Shiro let the worry cloud his expression now that Pidge couldn't see them. Her life was slipping away breath by breath and they were a still a long way from getting her in a healing pod.

Pidge launched Green ahead of Shiro to keep his path to the castle clear. Coran and Allura had been providing cover fire while the other three lions ransacked the small Galra convoy. The main ship, the one Shiro and Pidge infiltrated, was the last to go. Keith blew it up with Red's laser as soon and Green and Black were clear of the blast zone.

Lance, Hunk, and Keith raced to the castle after Shiro. As soon as the lions were in their hangers, Allura worm-holed them into neutral space.

"Coran! We need you to meet us in the medical wing to get a pod ready!" Pidge burst into the cavernous room that held the cryo-pods. She pull her helmet off as soon as she had finished her transition. Coran, though, had anticipated them.

"Already on it, number 5," Coran said. He was waiting by the prep table brandishing the cryo-suit in his hands.

Shiro laid the woman on the table just as the rest of the Paladins bolted into the room as well. Just as Lance opened his mouth to say something, Coran cut him off.

"Boys, turn away. If you would too, Shiro?" He turned to Pidge, "You get to help this time. Take these."

Coran proceeded to hand her the first-aid clothing shears. It took them less than thirty ticks to get the unconscious woman dressed in the cryo-suit. Everyone sighed in relief when the pod door hissed shut over the woman's face. Lance had tried to get a peak at the woman and earned himself a slap to the back of his head from Shiro. He grumbled and rubbed the spot but he didn't try it again.

Hunk was the one to finally voice what they were all thinking.

"How did she get out here? I thought we were the only ones from Earth, err including Pidge's dad and brother?"

Shiro turned to Coran who caught the full brunt of the angry glint in his eye.

"I thought you said you were monitoring Earth in case the Galra tried to return."

"We are. No Galra ship has entered your planet's system since the Blue Lion brought you to us." Allura addressed everyone from the doorway. She turned to Pidge.

"I'm sorry we didn't find your family."

"Thanks," Pidge muttered.

"So… what _do_ we know about her?" Keith asked as he turned to look at Shiro who, in turn, looked at Pidge.

"She confirmed that she was from Earth. That was before you came over." She nodded at Shiro. "Her cell was bare. She only said one other thing - something about leaving her there after I told Shiro extent of her injuries."

"So you brought her here against her wishes?"

"She is-was dying!" Pidge glared daggers at Keith. Lance and Hunk just looked between the two arguing. Shiro was resting tiredly against the prep table. Allura was watching uncomfortably from the back. All the paladins had been brought to space against their will.

Coran took charge.

"There is nothing we can do about her right now. You'll all be more amiable after some food and rest. The girl will be perfectly capable of answering questions when she gets out."

"She's going to fall all over herself to my questions," Lance quipped. He was practicing his 'sexy' smirk in front of her pod.

"It will be a couple of quintets at least before she's out."

"A couple of QUINTETS?" Lance's eyes bugged out.

Keith and Pidge facepalmed. Shiro managed to resist the urge.

* * *

 **Author's note** : Hey guys, so this is my first fanfiction that anybody besides me has ever read and the first thing I have ever posted on here. Please feel free to critique grammer, formatting, etc as I am still figuring stuff out. If the rating hasn't already given it away, this story contains mature content and most of it is not meant to make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. I categorized it as Romance because of the sexual aspect of this(it's coming in later chapters) not because the story is particularly romantic.


	2. Chapter 2

True to Coran's word, the cryo-pod did not open during the first two days. The scrapes and bruises faded from her face and revealed her features. She was pretty in a hard sort of way, like obsidian or marble. Lance spent embarrassing amounts of time daydreaming in front of her pod. That surprised no one.

By day three everyone was a little anxious to get answers to the mystery that woman presented. Shiro caught himself pacing in frustration after having shooed Lance away from the cryo-pod on several occasions.

On the fourth day, the pod's software glitched. The diagnostic screen kept flashing "VOLITILE OCCUPANT" and a blank time of release. The woman had not even so much as twitched while she was in the pod. Pidge and Coran went to work trying to sous out the problem. Everyone else took turns babysitting the pod incase it let the woman out. Shiro, of course, took the night shift. As the quintet waned away, the others drifted away to their bunks. All except for Pidge. She stayed glued to diagnostic holo-screen, muttering about software under her breath. She too nodded off after a while.

The door whooshed open a few dobashes after the start of the fifth quintet. Shiro woke from his catnap on the steps. The woman looked a lot less awful and almost pretty. He was going to have to mind Lance. She opened her eyes but instead of stumbling out, she laid there.

"Put me back under," She croaked.

Pidge jolted awake at the unfamiliar voice.

"Hey! You're out!" She alerted the rest of the castle immediately.

"You are safe and healed now," Shiro said.

"Where am I?" The woman took her first, hesitant step out of the pod and studied her surroundings.

"You're in the castle of lions, the home of Voltron. I'm Shiro, the paladin of the Black Lion."

Her gaze whipped around to latch onto him. She visually took stock of him, noting his physique, scars, and his prosthetic arm.

"Haggar's champion. You are him?" Her tone was accusatory.

"Yeah, do you have a problem with that?" Pidge asked with a warning tone.

The woman sighed and forced herself to relax. They had made no attempt to harm her yet. However, she still flinched when the door slid open to let in Coran and Keith. Lance, Hunk, and Allura were only a few seconds behind them. Lance was the only one who looked like he had made any effort at sleep.

"No, it's just a rather long story."

"Why don't we start with your name?" Shiro spared a glance at the rest of the team who were crowded around her in a semi-circle.

"It's Vee–Evelyn." She offered . Her eyes darted from person to person like a cornered cat. The rest of the team, in turn, introduced themselves.

"Well Evelyn, we've all been wondering how another person from Earth made it into space," Coran said.

She stood silent for a few ticks trying to figure where to start.

"They abducted me and my sister because of you." She pointed at Shiro.

"Me?" Shiro took a surprised step back. "And who's 'they'?"

"And where is your sister?" Pidge added.

Emotion flooded Evelyn's expression. Her mind plunged into a sea of memories of blood and betrayal.

"Hey, are you okay?" Hunk asked. Evelyn jerked back to the present.

"Not really. It's probably going to take a while to explain everything, so you might as well get comfortable." She sat down on the steps in front of the cryo-pod. Everyone else followed suit.

"You built up quite a reputation in the arena,-" Evelyn glanced up at Shiro and then returned to staring at her hands in her lap. "- and the Galra developed a bit of an 'Earthling' obsession because of it. One of the Galra who had intercepted the Kerberos mission had the notion to capitalize on the craze. He thought her could get some Earthlings to satisfy their other carnal appetite."

"Other carnal appetite?" This time it was Keith who asked.

"Prostitutes. Sex slaves, more like."

Everyone blanched. None of them had even considered the Galra had such a thing.

"It's a part of their society that they keep in the dark. Zarkon doesn't approve of enterprises that distract from conquering. Nevertheless, I think the business was quite lucrative given the lengths they went to grab us. The orchestrator was a lowlife by the name of Roxac."

"I've never heard that name mentioned on Galra transmissions." Pidge wondered out loud.

"You wouldn't have. He was of low rank and probably just a foot soldier of sorts. Plus, he's been dead quite a few months." A dark look flashed across Evelyn's face as she said this.

"He and a couple of his cronies abducted me and my sister while we were camping in Texas. I'm guessing we were the first easy targets they came across. They knocked us unconscious. We woke up on a small spaceship surrounded by aliens. In no uncertain terms they told us we were now their property and were going to be put to work 'servicing' paying clients. I made the mistake of laughing at him. He didn't take my defiance well and harassed me at every opportunity on our way to the main outpost. I did my best to egg him on so that his sadistic attention was diverted from my sister."

Her stomach rumbled which startled all of them.

"Do you have anything to e-" She was swiftly interrupted as Hunk pulled out a package of what looked like muffins,, got up and handed it to Evelyn.

"I thought you'd never ask!"

"When did you make those?" Lance looked betrayed at not having been made aware of Hunk's baking. Pidge mirrored his expression.

"Uhm… a few hours ago?" He tried to avoid Shiro's exasperated glare at not having gone to bed.

"Keith got part of the first batch."

"WHAT?!"

Keith smiled smugly at Lance. Evelyn watched how they interacted as she shoved bits of muffin in her mouth. It was good, like _really_ good. She didn't remember eating food this good even before she got nabbed. The other part of her brain was trying to reconcile these teenagers with the gossip she had heard about Voltron. _These kids act nothing like soldiers._

"So what happened next?" Keith spoke as she finished the last bit of muffin. The food turned to acid in her stomach as she remembered where she left off.

"By the time we reached our destination, I had angered Roxac enough that he was going to 'sample his wares' to teach me a lesson. He'd wanted to let a client pay for the privilege of 'breaking me in'." She glanced up to gauge their reactions. Allura was aghast, Coran and Hunk looked sick, and Keith seemed ready to stab something. Shiro's expression, for the first time ever, matched Lance's look of pure revulsion. Pidge's expression was sadness.

"I was lucky though. They were sloppy with the restraints they put me in. I got my legs free before he could do anything." _There was no way in hell she was losing her virginity to a furry asshole with a penchant for violence._

"I nailed him in the crotch so hard he couldn't walk right for week. Served him right but the bastard was planning his retribution. When we docked they went out and picked up some sort of aphrodisiac that they used on the Galra whores. They thought it would make me more complacent. No thought was given for the fact that human bodies do not function the same as theirs." Evelyn was choking on her words now. It was evident that this was hard to say.

"It…it didn't work quite as they expected it to. Although I was…amorous, when Roxac tried to force himself on me again I went into this mindless rage. I was a slave to my bloodlust. I _killed_ him-" tears were silently streaming down her face now,"-and I couldn't stop. His guards were next and then the pilots. My sister tried to stop me and calm me down and I… and I-" She never finished the sentence. She didn't have to.

Shiro made a split-second decision. He got up and wrapped the shaking woman up in his arms without giving any care to what the others thought of him. She was too busy sobbing to flinch away.

After a few dobashes, she gathered herself back together and Shiro released her from his arms. She took a deep, centering breath and continued on.

"When I regained my senses, I was the only thing still alive on the ship. Roxac's arena contacts found me laying in the loading dock. Everything was covered in blood and none of it was mine. I was scheduled for execution when they discovered the drugs affects were permanent and my… _condition_ was reoccurring."

She rolled up her left sleeve to reveal a set of eleven prominent horizontal scars. They were obscured and pockmarked in places by other, less intentional scars.

"How long was I in that thing?" She lethargically waved her hand at the cryo-pod she had recently come out of.

"About four quintets, give or take a couple of vargas," Pidge replied.

Evelyn counted off four scars then two more. She wavered at the seventh.

"I can't remember if I was in that cell for two or three quintets-"

"You were laying in that cell with a punctured lung for TWO OR THREE QUINTETS?" Lance screeched.

"Uhm, no. The fractured rib was a more recent acquisition. A day and a half into our transport to another arena, some of the other contestants sought revenge for my kill rate. Murdering people's friends doesn't make you many allies. They got chained and put in cargo boxes as punishment right before you guys showed up. What happened to the ship I was on?"

Team Voltron glanced among themselves. Finally, Keith spoke.

"We blew it up."

Evelyn looked at him a for a tick and then snorted.

"Serves them right. _Petty bastards_."

"You said something about an arena. Were you forced to fight too?" Shiro asked.

"Forced? Not so much. They let me out to fight every time I cycled.

I preferred to channel my psychosis into mindless rage fighting criminals. I couldn't live with myself after the _other_ reaction." She glanced back down at her uncovered arm. "I don't know how long I was on that ship after my latest match. You are going to have to restrain me and lock me away in four days at the latest. That is if you plan on keeping me around that long."

"You couldn't have succeeded in the arena on rage and adrenaline alone. You must have had some combat training." Shiro cocked his eyebrow at her.

"You haven't seen me at my worst, but yes, I have had combat training. Back on Earth I was a personal security field specialist, i.e. a bodyguard, a pretty good one too."

"I have an idea," Allura spoke with excitement. "If your willing, we could use another fighter for ground and infiltration missions. That way one more lion and its pilot can stay in the air. Until then Coran, Hunk, and Pidge can work on curing your…condition."

Evelyn considered Allura and her offer for a moment. _She had very little left to lose. Going back to Earth wasn't a possibility with as dangerously unstable as she was._

"I'll do it-" she yawned. "-gladly."

"Excellent idea, Allura. Welcome to the team Evelyn. Now I think we all could use some rest, so off to bed with all of you." Coran herded the rest of them out of the medical wing then turned back to address Evelyn." I'll show you to the room we got ready for you."


	3. Chapter 3 - Part One

Intimacy and Self-Loathing

Chapter Three

They gave her a room that was relatively close to the paladin's but off the beaten path. It was no different than the other's rooms, but it was luxurious compared to what she had been kept in recently. She wandered around and poked random buttons on the walls. That revealed the closet, which housed a couple generic bodysuits, and the washroom. With that found, she settled down on the bed. It felt like she was laying on a cloud. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep.

 _Down she sank._ _The blood was sucking her in, trapping her arms and legs, and rising, ever rising to cover her mouth and nose._

She jerked awake in a panic. Her room remained the same. It took almost a dobash of long, deep breathes to settle her hammering heart. She laid back down and tried to relax.

It happened again.

And again.

And again.

She smashed her fist against the metal paneling in frustration. She was so tired, but her exhaustion had only gotten worse as the sleep cycle wore on. Sleep was taunting her. The floor started to look very inviting. She grabbed her blanket and gave in.

Down the hall, Shiro was sharing Evelyn's difficulty at finding sleep. Her story had brought back a lot of memories that he had shoved into the dark recesses of his mind. He was desperately trying to let them back in.

Unbeknownst to Evelyn, Pidge had set up disguised surveillance equipment so that Allura and Shiro could keep a close eye on the newcomer. He checked the feed on several occasions that night. A few times, he watched her thrash around in blind panic before she realized her surroundings. He knew what she was going through. The same thing happened to him when they first took up residence in the Castle. Sleeping on a mattress was disconcerting after months of metal floors and operating tables.

'Morning' came early after everyone's late night. Even Shiro was a little loath to roll out of bed. Nevertheless, when it was time for food goo breakfast, Team Voltron made their way to the dining room in various states of awareness.

"So, are we going to wake up Evelyn, or…?" Hunk said.

"Let her sleep, the girl probably hasn't done so in weeks." Coran looked pointedly at Allura.

"I _had_ wanted her here while we went over the plan for the day." She grumbled. "However, it affects nothing. Pidge, I want you to work with Coran on getting a diagnosis and cure for Evelyn's episodes. I don't want you to drop your other responsibilities, so get it set up where Hunk can work while someone else assists with the monitoring."

She paused to take a bite.

"Hunk, you'll be taking over for Pidge for a day or two. Lance, Keith, you two will trade off as his assistants. When Coran and Pidge are done with Evelyn for the day, Shiro, I want you to take her to the training room and see what we have to work with. Whoever is not helping Hunk at the moment can go with you. Is everyone clear on their duties?"

A chorus of distorted 'yes'es came from around the table as everyone but Allura had their mouth full of food goo.

"Good. Get started as soon as you are finished eating."

Both Lance and Keith's eyes were glazed over in incomprehension. The amount of information and technical jargon that Pidge went over was massive. Hunk watched them from his station in the room that he and Pidge turned into tech central. Their situation made him smile. When Pidge got off on tangents, she forgot that most people didn't understand all the things that she did. There were times even he didn't know what she was going on about. Keith and Lance never stood a chance.

"Hey Pidge?"

"What" She turned to look back at Hunk.

"They have no idea what you're talking about."

"Right." She looked sheepishly at the red and blue paladins. "Sorry. The only stuff you really need to remember is yellow is cargo transport, orange is troop movements, red is attack plans, and black is anything to do with Voltron. If it's red…"

"…Alert Allura immediately." Keith interrupted.

"And black goes to Allura's queue," Lance said.

"See? You guys got this." Pidge jogged out the door as she alerted Coran to her impending arrival via gauntlet com. The guys watched her go.

"Who's going to take first shift?" Keith asked.

"Best two out of three?" Lance held up his hands in the universal signal for 'rock, paper, scissors'.

Pidge was grudgingly glad that human anatomy/physiology had been a required course. The knowledge was useful now. It turned out that while human and Altean anatomy was similar, there were differences. Coran was intrigued to learn about the human endocrine system. Specifically that several important hormone glands were located in the human brain. Altean's had an organ in their chest cavity that produced most hormones.

She and Coran spent more than a varga hypothesizing potential causes for Evelyn's psychosis. Some were ridiculously complicated, and others were plain flat ridiculous. They didn't know enough yet to throw any of them out. Each one required a test to prove or disprove it. Despite the castle's medical equipment being adaptive, Pidge still had to modify some of it. Most of the tech was designed to find wounds and not other maladies.

Shiro came in while Pidge was tinkering with some medical nanobots. Coran needlessly shushed him from over her shoulder. He quietly took a seat on the far side of the work bench and watched her work on the machines he could barely see. Allura had shooed him off the bridge for 'brooding too intently'. He was preoccupied with keeping his mind busy and on track. When it wasn't, unbidden images of Evelyn laying in that cell or thrashing in her sleep snuck in. He knew the tiny, but growing, feeling of guilt was unjustified. He'd had little choice in his action, but regardless, other people had gotten hurt.

Pidge interrupted his musings with an exclamation of completion.

"Good work, Number 5. I think we're about ready to start with Evelyn now." Coran patted her shoulder.

"Okay, I'll send…Dammit, I forgot to ask who was on first shift."

Shiro raised a tired eyebrow at Pidge and her language. She ignored him and spoke into her comm.

"Hey Hunk?"

" _What's up?"_

"Who is helping you right now?"

" _Uh, Keith. Why?"_

"I just need a runner. Lance will do."

" _He's hanging out here. I'll send him over."_

"And tell him to bring some food, would you? Thanks, man."

"If you needed someone, why didn't you ask me? I don't have anything pressing to do until you are done." Shiro asked Pidge.

"Evelyn didn't seem too happy to see you when she came out of the pod. If she's still sleeping, I don't want yours to be the first face she sees after waking up. _Again_." She turned her focus back on the nanobots.

It took Lance less than a dobash to arrive in the medical wing. He carried a portable container full of that morning's green goo breakfast.

"What did you need me and this—" he brandished the food container,"—for?"

Pidge cleared a spot on the workbench for the food.

"The food is for Evelyn. I need you to go wake her up and bring her here."

"So go fetch sleeping beauty. Anything else?"

"Nope."

Lance turned to go out the door.

"And Lance?" Shiro spoke up.

"Yes?" Lance turned back around to face him.

"I know you're a self-proclaimed ladies' man, but could you tone it down a little—at least for Evelyn?"

Lance's expression turned uncharacteristically serious.

"Yeah, I understand. Flirting is probably not the best way to get her to trust us."

Shiro smiled.

"You're a good kid, you know that?"

"Hey, I'm not a kid anymore!" Lance was indignant.

"Whatever, just go get Evelyn."

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Sorry that so little happens in this blurb. This was the best place to stop so I didn't push the wordcount to 3000+. I'm still working on the rest of Chapter 3(Who knew writing so little would take so long?)


	4. Chapter 3 - Part Two

A bleary-eyed Evelyn followed Lance into the medical bay. Coran thanked him, and he promptly left to resume being a nuisance to Hunk. Coran produced a spoon from somewhere and handed it and the food to Evelyn. She wordlessly began shoveling food into her mouth. He reiterated what Allura had said at breakfast. Pidge picked up where he left off to go over their testing plan. Evelyn nodded her assent at the appropriate times.

Shiro's comm beeped. Allura wanted him back at the bridge to go over new intelligence. By now, Evelyn had finished the food goo. He offered to take the empty container and drop it off in the mess hall on the way. She handed over the container without looking at him. _Either he was imagining things, or he was the only person in the room that made her visibly uncomfortable._

Before they got started, Pidge asked her all kinds of questions to make sure Evelyn wasn't going to go murderous on them. Evelyn assured them that she had never exhibited symptoms outside of her cyclic episodes. Her tests started off in a full-body scanner that looked and functioned like an MRI machine. Then Coran drew blood. He split the sample up for tests in several different machines around the room. After that was a saliva sample and a stint in some wacky, uncomfortable head gear.

Lastly, they hooked her up to a machine that monitored her vitals and other indicators while she underwent different stimuli and stresses. Evelyn was glad that this bit was the end. After running several miles, being poked, shocked, froze, overheated, blinded by lights, put in the dark, and tickled for good measure, she was ready to either go back to bed or hit something. Coran apologized profusely for the abuse.

Pidge commed Shiro to let him know that Evelyn's presence was no longer needed in the medical wing. He, in turn, commed Keith, who had traded off with Lance again, to meet him in the training room with Evelyn.

Keith popped his head into the medical bay and looked around for Evelyn. He spotted her slouched in a chair near Pidge's workstation.

"Hey Evelyn?"

She rotated the chair around and her tired gaze landed on him.

"Yes?"

"Are you ready, er, feeling good enough to spar?" Now that she was facing him, he could see the bags under her eyes.

She stood up and smiled wryly.

"I don't think I've ever been this happy to be asked that. Lead on."

They wound their way through the ship. Many areas they passed through were still unfamiliar. Evelyn carefully noted the path they took and what areas they passed. Nobody had shown her around yet and she really didn't feel like getting lost later.

Keith was his usual quiet self. The walk was quiet – too quiet. He didn't hear anything above the Castle's hum. Thinking he had lost Evelyn somewhere, he turned his head.

She was right there, a step behind to his left.

"How do you do that?" He asked incredulously.

"Hmm," She paused her mental mapping. "Do what?"

"Walk so silently? I can't even hear you next to me!"

"Oh that." She chuckled softly to herself, but it was gone as fast as it came. "My sister was always the highly visible one, the center of attention. I didn't mind one bit as it meant that I got to do as I pleased, so I taught myself how to be invisible."

"That's neat. So, you could, theoretically speaking, sneak up on Shiro and scare the shit out of him if you wanted to?"

She gave him a questioning look.

" _Theoretically_ , it's possible, but that depends on the situation and surroundings. I have no interest in risking his reaction given that I only met him yesterday. Individuals with combat training react unpredictably when startled."

"That's a shame". Keith muttered sadly.

With that, they arrived at the doors of the training room. Shiro had beaten them there, of course, and was setting out the sparring mats.

"No robots today?" Keith called out.

"No, we're keeping it simple for now. Keith, would you give me a hand with these?" Shiro nodded at Evelyn. "You should warm up while we finish laying these."

She nodded back and took off at a light jog around the perimeter of the room. The stiffness of the last few days slowly disappeared from her muscles. When everything felt loose, she started into her warmup dance. It wasn't really a dance in the traditional sense, but that was the best term to describe the set of continuously flowing movements she performed. It was a mix of yoga, various martial arts, and gymnastics that she had blended to wake up and stretch pretty much every muscle in her body.

Shiro and Keith worked slowly so that they could semi-discretely watch her move.

"She's good."

"You haven't even seen her in action yet. Plus, don't you think I should be the one passing judgement?"

"Shiro, she walked so silently that I couldn't hear her, _and she was right next to me_."

Shiro looked skeptical.

"Well that's…interesting."

Shiro laid down the last mat and Keith stuck it to the adjoining mats.

"Are we r—"

"—SHIT!" Shiro whirled around in surprise at the unfamiliar voice behind his right shoulder. His Galra arm was lit up and poised to attack. He lowered it when he recognized Evelyn as the owner of the voice.

She held up her hands to pacify the him. She wasn't cowed but she looked wary.

"Sorry!"

Keith gave Shiro a smug look.

"I told you." He grinned at Evelyn. "I guess it's not theoretical anymore."

Shiro sighed and rubbed his face. It concerned him how fast Keith was warming up to her. God save everyone from the fallout if it got romantic or she was a bad influence.

"We'll start out with you against Keith in hand-to-hand." He tossed her a pair of kickboxing gloves. She mimicked Keith and took off her shoes before entering the circle marked on the mats.

"What are the rules?" She asked as she put on the gloves.

"No fighting dirty – scratching, biting, groin shots, etc. No hard hits to the head. Try not to inflict any injuries worse than bruises. Don't take this too seriously, I just want to see how you fight."

"And the goal?"

"Goal?"

"What do you want the winner to accomplish? Incapacitation? Landed hits? Blocked hits?"

 _The 'not serious' part must have gone right over her head._

"I'm not looking for a winner, just show me what you can do. Keith are you ready?"

Keith nodded.

"Evelyn are you ready?"

She nodded as well.

"Then begin."

She dropped into a slight crouch over her right foot. Her left rested lightly on the mat for balance. Her relaxed hands were offset at chest level. Keith dropped into his own fighting stance with his fists held high and tight.

She stepped diagonally left to see what he would do. He threw a quick, testing right jab and stepped back to regain separation. She slapped the jab away. She continued circling to his right to push into his space. He was right-handed, and his feet betrayed his fighting style. She kept circling.

 _There. His shoulder tensed._

She lunged and rammed her forearm against his bicep mid-jab. She pinned his arm against his body. He was completely off balance now. Her right leg swept in low and took his feet right out from underneath him. He landed hard on his stomach. The resounding thud echoed. Evelyn stepped back and waited for him to get back up.

 _Damn!_

Back at tech central, Lance and Hunk had forgone their duties to watch the video feed coming out of the training room

"Ohhh, he went down _hard._ "

"I'm so glad I don't have to fight her. She looks really fast." Hunk muttered.

"Eh, Keith probably wasn't trying."

They watched as Keith got up and charged Evelyn. She grabbed his arm and flipped him. This time he landed on his back. Like before, she stepped back and waited for him to get up. Keith was visibly enraged, but he restrained himself when he got up this time. He tried a quick punch combination followed by a roundhouse kick. It earned him another trip to the ground.

Shiro, who had been watching from off to the side, took his eyes off the fight to look up at the camera that Lance and Hunk were watching from. Their comms beeped.

" _Don't tell Allura but I could use you both in the training room. Keith is getting his ass handed to him_."

"We know." Lance snorted. "We're coming. Right, Hunk?"

"Uhh, sure."

" _I wouldn't be laughing, Lance. You're up next. See if you can entice Pidge away from her machines to come with you. Bring your armor suits_."

Their comms clicked off. In the video feed, Shiro turned back to the fight in time to watch Evelyn pin Keith to the ground. He wriggled and strained to get out for a several long, embarrassing dobashes. Finally, he yielded.

"Quiznack. I'd rather keep watching Keith lose." Lance pouted.

"Come on, lets go get Pidge and get this over with." Hunk pulled Lance out of the room towards the medical bay.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Sorry this took so blasted long. College is really kicking my butt right now. I swear Chapter 4 is almost done.


	5. Author's Apology

**Author's** **Apology** : Hey guys, so I know the last time I updated was a reeeeeeaaaaalllly long time ago and I had said that Chapter 4 was almost done. Well, it was but all I had time to do was stare longingly at the file's thumbnail. The last semester chewed up my brain and spit out mush. The new semester is promising to do the same so after I get Chapter 4 posted( hopefully in a few weeks at most) don't expect another update until probably summer. I promise I will not abandon this story, if only for the sake of finishing what I started when I made the stupid decision to put up a half-baked story intro for public viewing. Thanks for sticking with me. Getting notifications that you have favorited my story is simultaneously the best and most terrible feeling.


	6. Chapter 4

Intimacy and Self-Loathing

Chapter 4

"That's enough!"

Evelyn stepped back at Shiro's call.

Shiro had let them spar for a little bit longer, but Keith was letting his anger get to him. Evelyn was untouchable. It was making Keith increasingly frustrated, and Shiro didn't feel like dealing with a pissed off Keith for the remainder of the day. Though, Shiro was pretty sure them becoming best friends was now out of the question

"C'mon Shiro! I almost had her!"

"No, you didn't."

"Hey, I—"

"May I give you a word of advice?"

Keith glowered at her in response.

"Believe it or not, I only did better because I'm more experienced. I got you the first time because you weren't taking it seriously. I felled you every time after that because you let your anger fuel your actions, not your focus."

"See? Patience yields focus."

"Is he doing _that_ speech again?" Lance whined as he walked towards them. Hunk and Pidge were right behind him.

Shiro gave Lance the usual exasperated look and then turned back to Evelyn.

"Sparring didn't really go as I expected so I took the liberty of changing the plan. You don't mind, do you?"

She shook her head.

"Okay, you're obviously proficient at hand to hand, so the next step is to see where you fit into our team. Keith and Pidge are close combat fighters – when she's not being our techie. Lance is our sharpshooter and Hunk is heavy munitions. I generally run point. I want to run a group training simulation with everyone to get used to working as a team."

"Ha! I _don't_ have to fight Evelyn." Lance did a triumphant dance that was reminiscent of a chicken.

Evelyn cocked her head to the side in question.

"That actually may not be a bad idea. Could we do the training simulation another day? That is—if it's okay with you and Allura? The contractor I worked for on earth had the new recruits spar with each of us veterans before they were put on an operations team. It was an effective way to learn their strengths and weaknesses and how to compensate for them."

"I agree, given that all of you are here already," Allura said from behind them.

The paladins turned around in surprise. Only Evelyn had seen her enter the training room. Everyone else had had their backs to the door.

"Did you really think I wouldn't notice that all of were in the training room?"

"My apologies, Princess. I told them to come here." Shiro offered cautiously.

"If you had asked, I would have likely said yes." Allura stared disapprovingly. "Shall we get started so that Pidge and Hunk can get back to their duties?"

"Right, Lance—as promised—you're up next."

Lance's face dropped into his usual whiney pout.

"Do I have too? I'm more of a-"Lance made finger guns and mimed shooting them off. "-'pow-pow-pow' from a distance type of guy!"

Shiro smiled wryly and nudged Lance into the sparring ring.

Evelyn appraised him.

"You can relax, I'm not going to injure you."

Lance's pride was hurt. He had known deep down that he didn't really stand a chance. Not with how easily Evelyn had defeated Keith. He would never admit it out loud, but Keith was a much better fighter than him and he respected him for it. Still, getting utterly defeated in front of Shiro, Keith, and the rest was no less embarrassing.

The only reason he hadn't ended up on the ground more was that he didn't try to attack first. He had only been able to block her first jab which, in hindsight, he was pretty sure was not even intended to make contact. Then Evelyn delivered a couple of confusingly fast and dangerously precise blows, and the next thing he knew, his nose was pressed into the mat. This repeated itself several times. It didn't take long for Shiro and Evelyn to wordlessly decided Lance had suffered enough. Lance had proceeded to dramatically drag himself off the mat.

Shiro made Hunk go next.

Evelyn had correctly pegged him as someone who didn't enjoy violence without worthy provocation. She had met a few people like that in her line of work. Some had been the kind of friends that you always needed but were never good enough to deserve. And he made great muffins. She tried to go easy on him – if only for the muffins. Still, sparring was – abet carefully controlled – violence, and violence wasn't hugs and high-fives.

Evelyn didn't use the same jab and evade technique that she had used with Lance and Keith. Hunk wasn't going to attack first. Instead, she made it more of a Judo-inspired grappling match. She wasn't surprised that he was as strong as he looked. His uncanny swiftness would have made him a formidable opponent if he had any inclination towards fighting.

Shiro called the match end after only a short while. He didn't see any need to drag this one out any longer than absolutely necessary. Hunk gave him a grateful smile as he stepped of the mat.

Pidge, of course, was next. Evelyn appraised the young girl as she stepped onto the matts. Her first impression was that the girl was a scrapper. Her first impressions were rarely wrong, and this was no exception. Scrappers were always fun to fight even if she was starting to feel the last few months of abuse.

Shiro watched as Pidge fought like, well, Pidge. It reminded him of Matt, only Matt didn't have Pidge's initiative. She also felt no qualms about trying every dirty trick she knew against a stranger. Evelyn diverted each one with practiced ease and a small grin. When it was clear Pidge was no more successful at holding her own against Evelyn than anybody previous, Shiro ended the sparring match.

Pidge joined the other paladins who had formed a loose curve behind him. Shiro turned around to dismiss them only to meet five expectant gazes. Allura gestured to the mats with a hand on her hip.

"Its your turn." Lance quipped. Keith's smirk mirrored Lance's—with more of an edge.

"That's not entirely my ch-"

"I have no objections."

"You've already sparred four times. You're tired and I hardly think that's fair."

Evelyn checked herself before she said anything disrespectful. She was not a leader here. She was a guest. Had he not just watched the last four matches?

"I'm not fatigued enough for it to make any difference. The Galra certainly didn't care and I doubt they will develop any sympathy in the future."

Shiro sighed in defeat.

Evelyn stepped back to give him his share of the matt to begin with. Allura took up his place on the side.

"Are you both ready?" Evelyn nodded at her. Shiro glanced at Evelyn and nodded as well.

"Well then, the match begins now."

The world outside the matts ceased to exist in Evelyn's mind. It was just her, Shiro, and the space between them.

She watched his shoulders rise slightly as he breathed in. Her heartbeat echoed in her head.

 _Ba-dum_.

He breathed out.

 _Ba-dum_.

He inhaled and shifted forward. His prosthetic arm stayed unnaturally still.

This was going to be _fun_.

She stepped forward, so did he.

They each stepped right.

There was still so much space between them.

She stepped forward. He did the same.

They stepped right, and then again, and again.

Their circle dwindled ever smaller.

Almost there.

 _Ba-dum_.

She threw a jab towards his face. Shiro dodged underneath, aiming a blow to her stomach. She let her momentum twisted her away and let her elbow fly towards his unprotected back. Only his back wasn't there anymore, and her elbow met the hard surface of his prosthesis. Pain spasmed through her arm. She spun around into a roundhouse that landed solidly on his abdomen. His face grimaced in pain, but he managed to grab her leg and throw her to the ground.

Her breath was forced from her lungs. _Move faster, slowpoke_. She rolled over her shoulder and back onto her feet.

She charged at him, imitating Keith, but as Shiro reached out to grab her she dived with her leg out and took him down at the shins.

They both scrambled back onto their feet.

She attacked again. He blocked. He attacked. She dodged.

Fist met forearm.

Foot met shoulder.

Elbow met palm.

They both were beginning to gasp in exhaustion.

Evelyn locked her grip around Shiro's shoulder, intending to throw him to the ground.

She pushed with all the force she could summon from her tired body.

She couldn't move.

She couldn't…

His inhumanly strong prosthetic arm wrapped cautiously, but securely against her neck. Its glowing energy burned against her sweaty skin.

The old Evelyn would have flailed and struggled. She would have demanded to learn the countermove immediately, refusing to be trapped and defeated. But that Evelyn had drowned in a flood of innocent blood. Her only purpose for existence right now was to keep the paladins alive for the sake of her sister. If there was a way that she could be defeated, it meant there was a way for the _other_ part of her to be contained. The relief coursing through her mind was almost enough to negate the overwhelmingly masculine scent clouding her nose.

Almost.

She tapped out.

The moment his arm loosened just enough for her to slip out, she got herself several feet away from him.

"I need to talk to you later, _alone_."


End file.
